Three of Us

Three of Us

Friday, January 21, 2011

Hurry Up and Wait...and Wait...and Wait...

I had heard the expression "hurry up and wait" many times prior to life in the Army but I must admit I never had true appreciation for the phrase. When you are associated with the military, as a soldier or family member, your life will be a never-ending cycle of hurry, hurry...wait. My husband likes to use another military-ism "15 minutes early is early, 5 minutes early is on time, and on time you're late." It would seem the Army has an obsession with time. While I more than appreciate the need to have everyone where they need to be at the exact time they need to be there, it would help if the military ever saw fit to extend the same courtesy to its families. It is probably obvious by now that something is bothering me and has inspired this post.

My husband has been on a combat deployment for 7 months and while we decided we'd like to take R&R in February 2011 before he even deployed last June, it is now late January and he still doesn't have approved leave dates. He has been acting Commander lately (Commander has been on his R&R leave) and is checking frequently, but no news. I love the Army, I really do. I love the opportunities, the adventure and the sense of family you find with so many amazing people, but most of all I love knowing my husband is doing something worthwhile that makes a real difference in the world and that I have a very large role in that too. However, on days like today the Army plain ticks me off! I have a job, and a life, and commitments, and would it be so darn unreasonable to ask the Army to give us just the littlest bit of notice? Apparently they think so. See, that's lesson one I learned about being a military spouse: the Army either assumes you have no life/job/commitments of your own and/or they frankly do not care if you do. PCS, training, deployment, heck even working hours and night and weekend events are planned without the least consideration to military families.

Now, in fairness I must admit they are right. I will drop absolutely everything and go see my husband the moment they say I can. I will move where and when they tell me to. I will make dinner at 9:30 at night and deliver to my husband’s office when he cannot leave. I will quit jobs. I will say goodbye to friends and make new ones, knowing all along I’ll soon say goodbye to them too. I will live my life at the will and whim of the Army. I will do it because I love my husband and I love my country. Today I just would like to point out that the Army’s lack of notice to families makes things a little harder than they need to be. We sacrifice a lot so that our soldiers can serve our country. I wish the Army could be a little more courteous to us.

~ Raderette

9 comments:

  1. Gotta love that hurry up and wait philosophy! Love this post.

    Thanks for the follow...following you back. I love your blog, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE your Alphabet of an Army Wife! Nice to meet you, and i look forward to reading more!

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  2. Hurry up and wait...gosh, that is just so true. I've learned that it's best to just not have any expectations at all--that way it's hard to be disappointed when things don't turn out. Not exactly the most optimistic way of looking at things, but it's been working for me so far! :) Looking forward to reading more!

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  3. Thank you so much, ladies! We are so thrilled to hear from you both.

    Wife on the Roller Coaster - We're so excited to be following your blog and that you have found us! We are beginning to get our "stuff" together to get our blog moving! We hope you continue to return to visit us :)

    L. - You're right! I know that I've definitely learned by experience that if you create expectations it needs to be non Army (or military) related :)

    ~Sapperette

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  4. You've got beef with the Army, but you wrote about it so eloquently. I enjoyed this post. I can definitely relate, too. 7 months is so long without seeing your husband, I hope he gets his R&R soon!

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  5. Gah, I *hate* the hurry up and wait crapola! Blerg! I hope you hear something about his R&R soon, sweetie. BTW, great to "meet" you through the Military Family Blogger Carnival! :)

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  6. Oh, my--so true!

    There are times when we just have to hurry up (just in case) and wait (because of the mission)...but so many times it feels like the military just makes us wait because it can. They talk about retention rates...cutting through the red tape on things like this would make a world of difference for family morale!

    Thank you for sharing this post at the Carnival!

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  7. If I ever had the guts to get a tattoo it would say hurry up and wait to remind me what my life has been about. so hard. I hope you get to see him soon

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  8. This so true! I totally can relate to what you are saying...

    Found you through the Military Family Blogger Carnival. Have a wonderful week! :-)

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Your contribution to our Strong Spouses...Army Strong blog means so much! We look forward to reading what you have to say :)