Trials of the Heart & Soul

As a milspouse (thanks K.P.!), you know that the day is approaching with your Soldier comes home (or, in my case, calls) and gives you the daunting news that a deployment is approaching. The word "Deployment" does funny things to our brain. We autmoatically think the worst, scare ourselves to death, wonder how in the world we will ever manage to hold down the fort, etc. etc. etc.!

On a personal note... My husband just called me to tell me of our 1st Deployment experience. It is, afterall, OURS because we will both be sacrificing. He will be sacrificing his home life, his family, and himself for our Beautiful Country. I will be sacrificing my best friend, my husband, the father of my daughter so that he CAN protect all of our freedoms here in the USA.

Well - I cried when he called to tell me the news... and then I felt selfish for crying. Why did I feel selfish? Well - if you read any of the posts below, you would know that a very close friend of ours husband just deployed for a 12 month tour to a war zone. My husband, on the other hand, is deploying on a 6 month tour to a friendly zone where he will be working on Humanitarian Efforts to improve buildings, roadways, hospitals, etc. The difference: Time and loaction. The similarities: We are both saying good-bye to the single, most important person in our lives.

We have moved across the country in support of our husband's feats, we have made a home where Uncle Sam ordered us to, and now we have to pick up all of the pieces and continue to live our lives as though none of this affects us.

I feel fortunate that two of these girls involved in this blog have husbands who have already left the country to serve, and can give Jenn and I the most support that they know how because they have already gone through it (or are wrapping it up!).

My story is a little different. I have a daughter. She is our first child, and her first birthday will be during this first deployment. That is where my sadness lies. I have amazing family and friends who I know will be there for me without a doubt, but the one person I truly want to share that first birthday with is my beautiful little family. My husband will be missing my birthday, Halloween (the 1st for our baby girl), Her 1st Birthday, Thanksgiving, Birthdays (all of our parents and his), Our 2nd Anniversary, Christmas, New Years, and the sheer joy of watching our baby grow. Out of all of those things.. it's the 1st Birthday that breaks my heart.

I think I'm doing pretty good, right?! Please pray for me, for us, for my friends and their husbands, and of course all of the Soldiers who are taken from their families to protect our freedoms!

Sapperette